Japan v Cameroon – Match Report

Japan 1 Cameroon 0

Vuvuzela rating: 3.8 – Like someone using a chainsaw in the distance.

Up until today Japan had never won a game outside of their country. This is in contrast to North Korea who have never actually been outside of their country.

Cameroon are known as ‘The Indomitable Lions’. They were previously called ‘The Cowardly Lions’ but dropped it after a Dorothy threatened a law suit.

In the prelude to this game Gary Linekar described it as being “a classic World Cup match between two different cultures”. With no explicit reference to the actual football, it was at this point that you wouldn’t be mistaken for thinking that the BBC was not expecting much of this game.

Their expectations were met.

Before the game many had tipped Cameroon to be the only African team to qualify but Keisuke Honda put the brakes on that after he scored for Japan in the 38th minute. This differs from another Japanese player; Yuto Toyota, who had problems with creating brakes a few months ago.

Other than the goal, there was very little excitement on the pitch. In fact, the most exciting moment of the game was 2 minutes into the punditry when Emmanuel Adebayor’s phone rang whilst he was giving some expert insight. Rumours are that minutes before Patrick Veira was seen in the ITV studios asking Adrian Chiles ‘Should I do it? Should I? Just prank him and see what happens?!’

Match Statistics (Powered by OptaJoke)

0 – The number of Christmas cards Roger Milla will be getting from Samuel Eto’o this year. Blacklist.

120 – The number of people who think Rigobert Song is increasingly looking like a lion. Mufasa

31,102 – The number of people who would like Blanka from Street Fighter to be called up the Japanese squad. Snes.


About danbunker

I watch too much sport.
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