Netherlands v Denmark – Match Report

Netherlands 2 Denmark 0

Vuvuzela rating: 2.5 – A Bee trapped in a glass

The Netherlands are the perennial disappointments at major competitions and if you watch Edgar Davids’s laid back punditry on ITV then you can see why. You tend to see more energy and excitement at a funeral…from the individual in the casket.

Having said that though, Denmark are spearheaded by Nicklas Bendtner so there was no real reason to worry.

The first half of the game did little to excite the masses, during the coverage ITV turned to their failsafe option of ‘if a game is boring, show things like a player doing a step over or an attractive woman with a super slow mo camera’.

The game really got going in the second half as Poulsen (a player who looks a lot like ‘Worm’ from Coach Carter) linked up well with Daniel Agger to score an own goal. After the goal Poulsen was seen with a great big grin on his face and saying to Agger “good one mate, I’ve Netherlands in our sweepsteak”.

The second goal came from the player Dirk Kuyt in the 85th minute; after it had gone in many neutral fans outside the stadium were heard shouting “oh bloody hell!” having left the game 30 seconds earlier.

At the end of the day, the game had much the same excitement of a funeral and maybe if Nicklas Bendtner had been a ‘funeral crasher’ then he would’ve stood more chance of scoring.

Match Statistics (Powered by OptaJoke)

3 – The number of carrots each Dutch supporter must eat in preparation for a game. Vitamin A.

6 – The number of different ways Dirk Kuyt’s surname is pronounced by commentators. Phonetically.

121 – The number of Great Dane dogs who will support Denmark during the tournament. Woof.


About danbunker

I watch too much sport.
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