Argentina vs Germany

Vuvuzela rating 7.5 – A surprisingly un-German energetic and exciting buzz.

Have Germany ever been pre tournament favourites at a world cup? Every 4 years they turn up with no one tipping them for glory, almost perennially in transition, either with a generation of players ushering their way out or a new one not quite ready to flourish and every 4 years without fail they defy the pundits to produce consistently brilliant tournament football. 11 semi finals in the last 15 world cups tells it’s own story.

This afternoon in Cape Town we saw an efficient, well drilled perfor……actually no before I slip into all too predictable cliché, what we actually saw was a German team defeat an Argentinian team containing some of the worlds most gifted players and defeat them with considerable style. Ozil, Mueller, Podolski and Schweinsteiger should all have their birth heritage scrutinised to see if some distant relative hails from Rio or Buenos Aires after a display of attacking football that put the albiceleste to shame. After the third time they have scored 4 at this tournament Germany will fear no one that lies before them, but then again they probably never did in the first place.

In 2014 regardless of what anyone says, I am putting my life savings on them to reach at least the semi finals. (cue German implosion on an unprecedented scale that will see them crashing out in the group stages now I’ve said that)

And what now for Argentina? Well at least they can take solace in the fact that they will be spared what promised to be one of the least attractive displays of public nudity since Keith Chegwin was last employed by Channel 5.

Yes, Diego will no longer be parading freely through the streets of Buenos Aires after failing to harness the individual talents of Messi, Tevez, Higuain, Aguero, Di Maria, Rodriguez and Mascherano into something that resembled a cohesive team display. Perhaps you should think about brining more than one full back to the next tournament Diego after centre back Nicolas Otamendi had the proverbial Brian Mclair against Lucas Podolski.

So the South American dominance of this world cup looks to have faded and the Europeans now lead the charge for the trophy. Who knows, the next time a team in England is 4 nil up and confidently spraying the ball around perhaps we will hear the terraces sing ‘Germany it’s just like watching Germany’ and the pundits will talk of glorious displays of attacking Sauerkraut Football…

Match Statistics (Powered by Optajoke)

80 – Percentage of England fans considering maybe they weren’t that bad against Germany. Hindsight.

0 – Number of people who put money on Arne Friedrich scoring for Germany. Tipster.

13 – Despite having 50 international goals, Miroslav Klose had just 13 more fantasy league points than Emile Heskey last season. Sub.

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About davidwalker

A proud member of the OptaJoke team, chair of the Student Radio Association & freelance multimedia designer. www.davidcameronwalker.com
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