The OptaJoke Fantasy Football League Winners and Losers

We are just over half way through the Barclays Premier League season 2010/11.  And in the world of fantasy football that means 1 of 2 things.

1 – You are very much exceeding pre season fantasy football league expectations.  You believe yourself to be the next Jose Mourinho.  Constantly tinkering formations, on the money with transfers, setting reminders on your phone for the next transfer window to open and just generally dreaming of winning the Opta Joke Fantasy Football League.

2 – You still have Aaron Ramsey in midfield, Adebayor is your captain and you haven’t logged in to check on your team since you decided you were “out of it” back in August.

On a serious note though the OptaJoke league is ranked 542 out of 220,250 private leagues which is “unbelievable Jeff!”.  You are part of one of the best leagues out there and long may it continue!   If you feel compelled to join us in the fun then simply log on to and enter league number 59915-102287.

So without further ado here are some of the winners and losers so far in the official OptaJoke Fantasy Football League 2010/11.

Winners (as of Gameweek 21)

Happy As Larry – Andrew McFarland

OptaJoke Fantasy Football League ranking – 1st

Andrew McFarland is a managerial maestro sitting proudly at the top of 8 different leagues.  We must bow down to the sheer persistence of this young manager who has made a shrewd 13 transfers this season culminating in an impressive score tally of 1103.  Happy as Larry are in their 5th season in Fantasy Football League history with their best season coming in 2009/10 with a grand score total of 2200. McFarland plays the attacking 3-5-2 formation with Chelsea’s Drogba as captain.  Rather interestingly McFarland is part of a Leeds Utd fans league which explains his decision to not select any Manchester United players! In fact since the beginning of the season Happy As Larry have not had a single Manchester United player in the squad!

Predicted finish – 3rd.  This boys got the experience to win this but his hatred for a team who are unbeaten could be his downfall!

Conkers Canaries – Simon Alexander

OptaJoke Fantasy Football league ranking – 2nd

Simon Alexander is our very own Harry Redknap making 25 signings so far this season. The lad is ruthless although a bit crazy in his transfers.  In Gameweek 8 he sold Chamakh for Tevez only to then sell Tevez for Chamakh in Gameweek 10!  Although to be fair Chamakh gained value by 0.3 in those 2 Gameweeks, Simon ‘the wheeler dealer’ Alexander!  Just like Andrew McFarland, Alexander is in his 5th Fantasy Football league season and there are only 7 points which divide the two managers.   Conkers Canaries had a horrible November finishing 78th for the month but he’s over the worst now and looks good for the top spot here.

Predicted Finish – 1st.  Their lime green and yellow kit might not be pretty but their points total is beautiful.  “Lets be avin you”.

Burnt Face Man – Andrew Cannon

OptaJoke Fantasy Football League rank – 3rd

Andrew Cannon appears to be in good form as he was top of the OptaJoke league table from Gameweek 16 – 20.   Burnt Face Man are ‘scorching hot’ with pace right across the team in the form of Bale, Van der Vaart, Tevez, A Cole and Piquionne.   Cannon is inexperienced in comparison to the other 2 managers previously mentioned though as this is only his 2nd season and I just wonder whether it could all get too much for him…

Predicted finish – 7th. Prove me wrong Burnt Face Man but you don’t win anything with kids.

Boci Tauna County – Kitione Lalakomacoi

OptaJoke Fantasy Football League ranking – 4th

Kitione is our highest placed foreign manager thus far, heralding from the lovely Fiji (DISCLAIMER! this may or may not be true – the lad may be sat in his bedroom in Leeds but that’s what the profile says so that’s what we’re going with!).  Resisting all temptation to select Watford’s Adrian Joseph Mariappa – Kitione goes for a 4-3-3 with Van Der Vaart as skipper. Textbook.  This lad has got guts making 43 transfers and playing his wildcard in Gameweek 5.

Predicted finish – 4th.  The fans love Kitione and sing “come on baby do the Lalakomacoi…tion”

Who is Diego Forlan? – Ian Walsh

OptaJoke Fantasy Football League ranking – 14th

I know, I know.  I’ve picked a team 14th as a winner but Ian Walsh, or Walshy as I like to call him (never met the lad), was the only one who truly benefited from the snow hit December.  Postponed matches and a miserable cold month meant we had a strange one on our hands considering the amount of rescheduled matches.  Walshy smashed it scoring 255 points in December.  He’s now in the best form of the season and he looks like one to watch!  Although with the erratic Tevez as captain it might be short lived…

Predicted finish – 6th.  Walshy is just one of the lads.  Little bit of woahhhh little bit of weeeaayyy.

Ricks Nightmares – Ricky Tooley

OptaJoke Fantasy Football League ranking – 114th

I’ll be honest here Ricks Nightmares have been….well….a nightmare.  He hasn’t made a single transfer and his formation smacks of amateur with 5 at the back.  Seriously! Everybody knows defenders are the devil in fantasy football.  So why then is Rick a winner?  Well for his sheer laziness its actually paid off for him this week as Wayne Rooney finally scores some points as Rick picked Wazzer as captain.  So for the first week of January Rick is a winner.  Don’t bank on it for long though as he has definitely lost his log in details and has Antonio Valencia on the bench…

Predicted finish – 105th.  Despite the fact Rick will not touch his fantasy football team Rooney’s return to form means it will get Mr Tooley an undeserved finish off the bottom spot.


Toppo’s Top XI – Steven Toplis

OptaJoke Fantasy Football League ranking – 123rd (bottom)

This one pained me it really did.  Toppo is a loved member of the optajoke team and his footballing knowledge is unrivalled.  He made a schoolboy error though by not selecting his fantasy football team until Gameweek 12.  Unfortunately Toppo I have no choice in selecting you as one of the losers.  On the upside though you have accrued 466 points in just 9 Gameweek’s therefore you deserve to really be a winner.

Predicted OptaJoke league finish – 84th.  I fancy Toppo to catch the rest up.  God only knows what he would have been capable of if he had registered in week 1.

Loserpool – Aarron Soans

OptaJoke Fantasy Football League ranking – 122nd.

The aptly named Loserpool are a disgrace to league.  They have amassed a measly 664 points and have all the makings of one of the worst ever fantasy football teams in the history of fantasy football.  Just what is this lad doing?  Thomas Vermalen hasn’t played in months yet somehow finds his way into Loserpools starting 11.  Aarron Soans made 5 transfers in Gameweek 2 although sadly hasn’t checked on his teams progress since then.

Predicted OptaJoke league finish – 123rd (bottom).  You my friend deserve to be bottom of the league!

Ste’s Dream Team – Ste Crossley

OptaJoke Fantasy Football League ranking – 121st.

Ste Crossley, brother of OptaJoke’s Mark Crossley, has let the Crossley name down.  Like some of the other losers, Crossley has neglected his fantasy football team.  What a waste.  His players are clueless running around like headless chickens in what has to be one of the worst kits I have EVER seen.  Seeing really is believing

Predicted OptaJoke league finish – 121st.  If you are going to lose – lose in style!

Boxing Banshees – Lee Wallace

OptaJoke League Ranking – 120th

Lee Wallace plays what has to be one of THE most defensive 4 – 5 – 1 formations I have ever seen in Fantasy Football.  This is all the more bizarre when you see the likes of Van Persie sitting on the bench….

Predicted finish – 158th.  If that’s even possible.

The OptaJoke Team – You Know Who You Are

OptaJoke Fantasy Football League ranking – Towards the bottom of the table

Lads, lads, lads.  Look at ourselves.  What have we become.  Supposed experts and look at the state of the season thus far.  Come on! Pick yourselves up! Look for your win…..right after I name and shame!  In order of rank:

  1. Barrymore’s Swim Team – Jim Knight
  2. FC de Tropicana – Carl McQueen
  3. Kick n Rush – Dan Bunker
  4. Mental Patience – Jonathan Gravelle
  5. Woy of the Wovers – David Cameron Walker
  6. The Underdog – Sam Jarrett (me – well and truly an underdog now)
  7. The Jabulani Masters – Mark Crossley
  8. FC Disco – David Reed
  9. Toppo’s Top XI – Steven Toplis

And that concludes the eleventh day of Christmas with OptaJoke.  I will be posting one of these per month so be sure to keep an eye out for updates on the site.  In the meantime happy Fantasy Footballing and make sure you are not in my losers list for the end of January!

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One Response to The OptaJoke Fantasy Football League Winners and Losers

  1. Jose Moreintheknow says:

    I’ll prove you wrong

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